Why You Need Confidence Rather Than Validation

Maybe you’ve been there, desperate for someone to hear your story, learn about you before they’ve asked many questions, or begged for attention after being ignored by someone you think you need some level of approval from. Most of us have been there and it’s not typically a proud moment. No one wants to beg for attention. So why do it and how do you stop?

The question is this: Why do you want people to know so much about you when they haven’t even asked? Why do you want to lay into someone who isn’t showing any interest? What is it that drives this desire for validation from people when what you really need is to heal your insecurities and become more confident?

Before you overexpress yourself, reveal all your dark secrets and risk your reputation by trying to be “transparent”, keep in mind that transparency doesn’t mean pouring your dirt out to the world and demanding respect for being “raw and honest.” Somethings should simply be kept private or between only you and your closest friends and family.

In all honesty, I understand the feeling of wanting to be heard and accepted by those you admire and love. That is only natural. Sometimes we need a release when it comes to our emotions as things do weigh on us if we don’t take proper measures to deal with them on a regular basis.

It takes mistakes to learn and awareness to understand.

Notice the difference between people who keep to themselves, work hard, strive for greatness and stay humble, versus those who stick there nose out asking to be noticed. The difference is between those who are confident in their own skin and those who feel insecure, full of fear, and unsettling nerves. Someone who is confident doesn’t feel the need to be validated. They are secure with themselves and don’t care about the recognition after every move they make.

People who struggle with low self-esteem ask for constant attention even from those who don’t reply to their messages (emails, texts, phone calls, etc.). They want to feel accepted by society more so than those who feel accepted by themselves. These people often battle depression, anxiety, and even destructive substance abuse related issues.

Build Your Confidence | We Heart It

It’s important to be aware of these traits within yourself and others you come in contact with. It’s also important to show compassion for them as they are vulnerable and have a hole in their stability chip that needs healing and understanding. If you or someone you know struggles with the deep need to feel validated and needs to work on building confidence for their own well-being, here are 10 helpful tips.

  1. Wake up to upbeat tunes in the morning as you make coffee, shower, and get yourself ready for the day ahead

  2. Regular workout routine to stay in tip-top shape so you can look good and feel good

  3. Take your daily vitamins and supplements after a healthy breakfast so you can operate your best- physically, mentally, and emotionally

  4. Read more intellectually stimulating books. Take time before bed or during a relaxing afternoon on the weekends

  5. Distance yourself from social media for a few hours a day so you can visually disconnect from any online comparisons

  6. Surround yourself only with people who lift you up, believe in you inspire you, and encourage you to make smart choices in life to improve your personal and professional growth

  7. Volunteer your time to those in need that serve a meaningful purpose and make a positive impact on the lives of others in your community

  8. Let go of your fears, regrets, and anxious thoughts through prayer and meditation (turn down the lights, dab on the essential oils, and light a candle to enjoy a soothing environment)

  9. Get out and socialize with friends and family. We all need human interaction and connectivity.

  10. Step out of your comfort zone and try a new hobby

Anything is Possible When You Are Confident

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