Private Relationships VS Secret Ones

Private Relationships VS Secret Ones

When you find yourself in a relationship you keep defending as a private one, you may want to ask yourself whether or not that is true and if you’re just covering up the fact that it could be a secret relationship you’re hiding. There are many reasons people choose to keep their relationship private, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if you’re in a relationship you have to hide, you will find that something begins not to feel right because you are not living authentically.

Keeping a secret of any kind takes a toll on a person. Some may say it’s thrilling and that’s why they prefer the secrecy, others may wish they could come out as a publicly known couple but that just isn’t an option for them for a number of reasons.

All that matters in either situation, you must be honest with yourself about the reality of your relationship rather than lying to yourself trying to tip-toe around your own shadow.

Is He or She Keeping Your Relationship a Secret?

When you truly love someone, chances are you will want to shout it from the rooftops and let the entire world know of your love for this person. It will be evident through conversations with your friends and family, visible on your social media accounts (that is if social media exposure doesn’t freak you out and you’re open to social criticism). Maybe you should truly ask yourself, do you seriously LOVE this person you’re dating, or are you just lusting for them or even worse settling with them because they show you the slightest bit of attention.

There are all types of relationships out there and I am certainly not someone to judge anyone for their choices in life. What I believe not to respectable is when someone lives an absolute lie. When you and your boyfriend or girlfriend agree to move in with each other yet hardly anyone in the world even knows you’re dating, you’re living a lie in denial of your true reality.

Privacy in a Relationship is Respectable, Secrecy is Not

If you are trying to keep your relationship private things will look much different than being in a secret relationship. Evidence on social media and conversations with loved ones will show that yes you are in a relationship, but the details of your relationship are respectably kept between you and your significant others. The benefits of keeping your relationship private are that you don’t allow the public to critique or criticize your every move. Being private in a relationship has always been my preference.

The intimate details about your romantic relationship are not for the public to have any knowledge about. That information is best kept between you and your significant other only. If you have troubles, you discuss them amongst each other and not broadcast them for the whole world to know. Those who stay private in their personal affairs are to be respected.

It will eat you alive suffocating in the darkness of your lover’s shadow and behind closed doors if they two of you have not made an agreement one way or another. It is not fair to you or the other to keep your relationship hidden. You need to know for sure which it is. Are you in a secret relationship or a private one?

Signs Your Relationship is Being Kept a Secret

For those of you who suspect maybe the relationship you’re in is more than just one that is being kept private but actually in secret, you might want to check out these hints for clarity.

  1. You pretty much already know deep down that it is being kept a secret by the both of you for more than a couple reasons in which neither of you is being honest about.

  2. He/She only take you to certain places, avoiding places you’d like to go or recommend the two of you go together.

  3. He/She refuses to give your relationship a title.

  4. There are no photos of the two of you together on social media and if one of you posts a photo of the other it creates an argument or discomfort.

  5. He/She regularly has excuses for reasons for their unavailability to spend time together.

  6. He/She hides their phone.

  7. Body language speaks volumes when you’re out in public together. If your significant other isn’t keeping you a secret or hiding you from the world, they won’t be afraid to show a little PDA (Public Display of Affection).

My advice to you is to talk to your partner and get to the bottom of what’s going on with your relationship. Get some clarity one way or another so you can be clear on where you stand with one another. No one deserves to be kept in the dark. Man or woman, know your worth. True love is something you shouldn’t have to hide. Be true to yourself and to those closest to you. Be sure that whatever the situation may be, you are confident in your decision to either stay or leave.

Be brave in having this conversation as it may not be all that easy to discuss, especially if the truth is going to be hurtful. Listen with absolute intent and look them in the eye when they are responding to your questions. It is through their body language and eye contact you will see the truth. No matter the outcome, know that you deserve the absolute best in this world and you shouldn’t have to ever settle for anything less.

Good luck!

Photo By: Christiana Rivers

8 Replies to “Private Relationships VS Secret Ones”

  1. Wendy K Snyder says: Reply

    My girlfriend of 5 years decided that we would go see her mom. But both her mom and her decided that we are only to be friends. Her mother doesn’t want her family to know her daughter is gay. Girlfriend is going along with it. I am hurt and devastated. How do I approach this?

    1. My advice is to respect your girlfriend’s wishes and decide whether or not you can live with the conditions. It doesn’t sound healthy from my perspective to keep things so secretive, but unfortunately, sometimes you have to. The important thing is to decide what YOU want and what is ultimately best for YOU. Follow your instinct, rarely will is lead you wrong. I wish you the very best and hope everything works out perfectly, for YOU.

  2. I have a boyfriend for three years and he introduced me to his best friends and his family yet some of his co workers dont know he is in a relationship. And whenever I will post a photo of us in the social media we’ll have an argument after.

    1. That’s a little strange……. why is he trying to hide you? Married? Another Girlfriend?

  3. My boyfriend of two years used to post pictures with me, very rarely, but every once in a while he did, not mentioning who I am to him which I didn’t mind too much. However, he hasn’t for over a year now and he will post about our outings but not mention me, tag, or post a photo of us together. Last time I brought it up with him he said that he likes to keep his relationships private, but his social media says otherwise from relationships in the past with ours still looking like a secret. Do you have any advice?

    1. Hi Alexis,

      That strikes me as a little unusual but there are people who do like to keep details of their private life and personal relationships offline. Reading your comment though it makes me upset for you because he should at least acknowledge you online as his girlfriend if that’s what you are to him. Its frustrating isn’t it? It probably makes you feel insecure, doesn’t it? I know that’s how I would feel. I suggest having a conversation with your boyfriend and bring up your concern to him, making it very clear what you would like and what you expect to change. You can still publically show that you are in a relationship without disclosing all the details about your relationship. People do it all the time. The difference is when people HIDE their significant other so they can appear single online and still get attention from others while living a different life with you. Any kind of secrets or relationships that are hidden are usually not healthy.

  4. Well I’ve been dating this guy for seven months now and he hasn’t for once introduced me to neither his parents nor his friends but we always spend greater part of his time together but I don’t know something doesn’t seem right but I know he loves me but what I don’t know is whether our relationship is a secret or private one

  5. I have been in a relationship with someone for pretty three years, and I still not have met anyone in his family, or social circle, and to top it off; I don’t even know where he lives. All I know is that he lives with his Aunt and Cousin’s and that’s pretty much it. When I ask him about these things, then for some reason; a arguement always pops up. Or I’m looking too much into things. Supposedly his doesn’t want me to meet his “Cousins” because they talk Mess about everyone they meet, after they’ve smiled in their face. So what does that have to do with me? He has meet two of my closet friends though, and one Family member….

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