How to Create Boundaries

Creating Personal Boundaries With Friends Family and Co-Workers

Have you ever felt like people were taking advantage of your time, space, and energy? If you’re feeling that way right now about someone or a certain situation in your life, it’s probably time to draw the line and lay down some healthy boundaries. What are “personal boundaries” though? Well, they are the lines between what you will and will not allow into your life.

Boundaries are your friend and will help you have more self-respect and let little slide that upsets you in any way. Practicing laying out these boundaries will help build your confidence and self-esteem– they will even help you be more productive as well as receive the respect you deserve. Boundaries are to be created to protect you.

They are not about anyone else, so when creating them for yourself keep that in mind– this is for your own health and wellbeing.

Material Boundaries:

Rules on what you allow people to borrow, touch, or use (car, toothbrush, books, computer, phone, clothes, etc.)

Emotional Boundaries:

The protection from giving or accepting advice as well as giving or accepting blame. It’s the emotional response to be true to your own feelings regardless of how it may make anyone else feel. You respect your own emotion towards a situation don’t back down from allowing anyone or anything to disrupt that clear internal line set in place to protect yourself.

Spiritual Boundaries:

To build internal protection from harmful behaviors, activities, or interactions that go against what you feel comfortable with spiritually.

Physical Boundaries:

Awareness and rules against what you feel comfortable with, physically. Do you prefer a hug or a handshake? Maybe you prefer neither. Are you sensitive to loud music, personal, space, or require much privacy?

Sexual Boundaries:

To protect your level of comfort with sexual touch, behaviors, and activity- with whom, when, what, where, how.

Mental Boundaries:

The boundaries you have mentally that protect you from your core values and beliefs. It’s the ability to listen to others with an open mind without being easily consumed or changed by their thoughts or ideas. You weigh out the facts and take into consideration your personal standards and beliefs.

5 Reasons People Find it Hard to Create Boundaries:

  1. Trouble saying no to people when asked to do something.
  2. Easily manipulated and persuaded by those who are after their own agenda.
  3. Wants to please other people even if it puts their own safety, health, career, finances, relationships, and happiness in jeopardy.
  4. They have never learned what healthy boundaries are or how to create and stick to them.
  5. They do not feel or believe they have a right to create boundaries with certain people or at all.

How to Create Boundaries:

  • Have an absolute 100% connection to your own self-awareness so that when someone does something or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable you can acknowledge it and SPEAK UP against it.
  • SAY NO when you don’t want to, or can’t do something, go somewhere, lend something, or agree with someone
  • Know your core values and what you will and will not accept in your life
  • Be consistent in what you allow, say, and do
  • Prepare for the consequences if someone crosses your boundary
  • Let your behavior speak for you rather than your words
  • Be clear to others on what your boundaries are and remind them a couple times if you have to in case they slip up or forget

Image via Unsplash

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